Some people bum me out..

[PsychedelicRabbit]

I feel like I'm going to be sick. I really don't like myself, don't feel like talking about Grace much anymore. I'm scared to death that she'll hate me, or does hate me. I feel really insignificant and very hurt. That's why I edited all my posts. I'm sick of being hurt. I'm sick of everyone giving me thier "two cents," when all it does is hurt me. Why did you have to do that?

I love Grace. Maybe you think I'm crazy, but now I'm so hurt. All I did was love her. I don't stalk anyone, I'm not crazy. I'm just in love. That's all I talked about on here, because I needed someplace to go. But I won't anymore, because I'm too afraid.

God, I feel like I'm going to be sick. I wish I didn't feel like Grace would hate me.

[SummerOfLuv67]

Did you honestly think Rabbit would read those words and suddenly "wake up" and be like, "Ohhhh, I see! I AM sick. I DO need help. I see the light now. Thank you!" I don't think so.

I don't think so either. That is why I didn't go any further into explaining why I felt she was a stalker.

Look, my intentions weren't to hurt her. Others have tried to reach out to her, but she wants no part of that. She just gets angry or depressed and proceeds to ramble on about how she is misunderstood and how she hates herself. Which basically just confirms my assertion that she needs help.

My purpose for responding to this thread (if you must know) was mainly because I could see how someone in Grace's position would be scared. If it was me, I would be worried about my safety.

Honestly, I feel sad for Rabbit. But I didn't know any other way to comment besides the way I did. No matter how you respond, she gets upset.

[SlicklyDickly]

I've been thinking about this, SlicklyDickly and Summerofluv (mainly Summerofluv)...

You have to admit that I didn't approach PR aggressively - and she still got very emotional over my post. Of course I didn't not expect her to be like "you know what? I'm effed up". No - not at all. I was expecting for her to have an "Aha!" moment. But maturity only comes with age - and she's all of what, 16? Lets see how she feels in a couple years. I'm not saying she doesn't have real feelings - not saying that at all. Just that teenagers are prone to being drama queens. Sorry Psychadelic - you're a sweet girl, but you are a drama queen.

I still stand firm in my stance that there's nothing wrong with being attracted to Grace even though she's a woman and older. If you were felt this strongly about, I dunno, Michael Douglas, I'd still be saying the same thing.

But I've already apologized for making PR feel bad, I didn't mean to. Point is - I don't think she's sick or obsessed, I just think she's a teenager. That is all.

[PsychedelicRabbit]

I don't think so either. That is why I didn't go any further into explaining why I felt she was a stalker.

Look, my intentions weren't to hurt her. Others have tried to reach out to her, but she wants no part of that. She just gets angry or depressed and proceeds to ramble on about how she is misunderstood and how she hates herself. Which basically just confirms my assertion that she needs help.

My purpose for responding to this thread (if you must know) was mainly because I could see how someone in Grace's position would be scared. If it was me, I would be worried about my safety.

Honestly, I feel sad for Rabbit. But I didn't know any other way to comment besides the way I did. No matter how you respond, she gets upset.

I don't need help. As I've stated before, I do need someone who understands me. What I hate about myself is that not a lot of people truly understand me.
I'm not out to hurt Grace. I could never hurt anyone. I'm not trying to hurt you by saying that you're crazy stalker, am I? I'm just stating how I feel. That's all I've done. That's all I have done this entire thread, is state that I am very much in love with Grace.

A stalker is defined as someone who knows what someone is doing constantly, every minute of the day. They know where the person lives, know thier phone number, knows everything about what this person does in a day. I don't know any of that about Grace. I don't live in California, I live on the other side of the US. I've never followed anybody in my life. I can't prove to you anymore than I am. I've never stalked Grace and have no intentions to. I love her and have respect for her.

And of course I got upset, mostly everyone would. It upsets me when people apply on this forum, and tell me I'm crazy and a stalker. Yes, I'm going to be upset. I'm a very emotional person, and I open up those emotions. I never hid them.

I've been thinking about this, SlicklyDickly and Summerofluv (mainly Summerofluv)...

You have to admit that I didn't approach PR aggressively - and she still got very emotional over my post. Of course I didn't not expect her to be like "you know what? I'm effed up". No - not at all. I was expecting for her to have an "Aha!" moment. But maturity only comes with age - and she's all of what, 16? Lets see how she feels in a couple years. I'm not saying she doesn't have real feelings - not saying that at all. Just that teenagers are prone to being drama queens. Sorry Psychadelic - you're a sweet girl, but you are a drama queen.

I still stand firm in my stance that there's nothing wrong with being attracted to Grace even though she's a woman and older. If you were felt this strongly about, I dunno, Michael Douglas, I'd still be saying the same thing.

But I've already apologized for making PR feel bad, I didn't mean to. Point is - I don't think she's sick or obsessed, I just think she's a teenager. That is all.

Why does my age have to do with anything? Why is it that I feel love for someone, and suddenly people say "She's a crazy stalker...let's see how she feels in a few years"...how do you honestly think I'll react? I don't know...maybe the people who are hurting me right now (SummerOfLuv and SlicklyDickly) are sort of homophobic. I don't know.

I am a mature person for my age. I'm just a very emotional person, which can be taken being a drama queen. I'm very introspective and I understand myself, and others, better than I'm given credit for. It just hurts when those emotions of love that I feel are seen as a negative thing. No, you don't think negatively about it. But it does hurt that someone thinks you "are only a teenager"...I can't wait to be older. I'm sick of being my age. My age and my mental age are not the same. Mentally, I feel like I should be in my 60's or 70's. And people always use my age against me.

I just want to be understood. I want my love for Grace to be seen as a valid thing. I'm not stalking her or anyone else. I'm not out to hurt anyone. I really love people, actually. I just hate how the people I love most (which is everyone, really) are the ones who turn on me. I feel very alone, and I know that I am, but I just want to feel like I am a valid person. Like I am at least somewhat understood by people...and that my feelings for Grace are valid. They very much are, but some people don't see it that way.

[SummerOfLuv67]

You have to admit that I didn't approach PR aggressively - and she still got very emotional over my post. Of course I didn't not expect her to be like "you know what? I'm effed up". No - not at all. I was expecting for her to have an "Aha!" moment. But maturity only comes with age - and she's all of what, 16? Lets see how she feels in a couple years. I'm not saying she doesn't have real feelings - not saying that at all. Just that teenagers are prone to being drama queens. Sorry Psychadelic - you're a sweet girl, but you are a drama queen.

I still stand firm in my stance that there's nothing wrong with being attracted to Grace even though she's a woman and older. If you were felt this strongly about, I dunno, Michael Douglas, I'd still be saying the same thing.

But I've already apologized for making PR feel bad, I didn't mean to. Point is - I don't think she's sick or obsessed, I just think she's a teenager. That is all.

I pretty much agree with everything you said, Slickly. Even the part about being attracted to an older person (male or female). Hell, I think Harrison Ford if fine, so I can totally understand that.

I have already stated my intentions, and I don't want PR to feel bad. But I know that you do anyway, Psychedelic, and so I apologize. But at the same time, I stand by what I said. I believe that I have a right to state how I feel. If someone I didn't know was obsessing over me, I would be scared. I can see now how someone would be frightened by a person that confuses obsession for love; someone that thinks they are destined to be in a relationship with someone, even though they have never met that person. You can't control someone, and you can't program their responses to you.

They know where the person lives, know thier phone number, knows everything about what this person does in a day. I don't know any of that about Grace. I don't live in California, I live on the other side of the US.

Well, you do have that information about her daughter. You know where she lives, and you have her phone number because I believe you have called her. You know how often she goes out, which apparently, according to you, is "A LOT." So basically you are keeping track on how often she leaves her house, which you would only know that if you were STALKING her. Seriously, what are you trying to accomplish by knowing that information? Never mind don't answer that. I think I already know the answer.

Try seeing things from someone else's perspective, PR. The world doesn't revolve around you, and it is not all about how YOU feel. If you are as mature as you claim you are, then this shouldn't be too difficult.

[PsychedelicRabbit]

Well, you do have that information about her daughter. You know where she lives, and you have her phone number because I believe you have called her. You know how often she goes out, which apparently, according to you, is "A LOT." So basically you are keeping track on how often she leaves her house, which you would only know that if you were STALKING her. Seriously, what are you trying to accomplish by knowing that information? Never mind don't answer that. I think I already know the answer.

Try seeing things from someone else's perspective, PR. The world doesn't revolve around you, and it is not all about how YOU feel. If you are as mature as you claim you are, then this shouldn't be too difficult.

I have a friend, who's number I have, that knows China. I don't have China's number and I've never called her. If you're going to use this against me, at least read the information right (you can't use this against me, because I'm stating the reality of this whole thing). And even then, the information I have on her can't be proven because I honestly don't know if the information I have is valid. China might NOT live in Florida, I honestly don't know. I don't know what she does, I only know what my friend, who lives next door to her, says to me. I haven't talked to anyone on the phone for over 2 weeks now. So I have no idea what China does, therefore I don't keep track of her schedule. I don't know what she does, ever. I honestly don't.

And by knowing friends who know China/Grace? I didn't set out to find them. They actually found me. I don't know how, but they did.

I am a mature person for my age. Why can't you be more compassionate, huh? If you've been reading these past few pages, you know that I've been going through a hard time. And this doesn't make it any easier.

I never set out to hurt you. I don't even know you. But I do have suspicions you and Slickly might be the same person. Hell, you all might be Susan Butcher for all I know.
I know the world doesn't revolve around me. I never said it did. All I said was that I wanted a place to go to where I can talk about my love for Grace, since I don't have anywhere else to go.

Fine, if you believe that I really do confuse obsession and love, go right ahead. I can't prove to you that I'm genuinely in love with her. Think what you want. I'm tired of having to prove myself. I had 18 pages of things that proved I love her, but you took it way out of context. I am not at all being mean to you. I'm very hurt, and I don't understand why we can't just get along. I'm not here to hurt you or make you feel bad about yourself. You've said the same for me, but if you truly believed that, you wouldn't keep saying things like you did in your last post. I am hurt, and maybe you feel the need to use that against me.

I can't prove anything to you. You've got to have an open mind, and WANT to see the other person's prespective to truly understand each other. I know where you're coming from. I understand how what I said could be taken out of context. But I don't understand why we can't just get along. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm here to help you understand me better. I don't want to work against you or fight you. If you want to fight me, go ahead. But I'm not going to fight back. I just want to get along.

I hope this makes sense. And I hope we can get along eventually.

[SlicklyDickly]

never set out to hurt you. I don't even know you. But I do have suspicions you and Slickly might be the same person. Hell, you all might be Susan Butcher for all I know.

Or one of us could be Grace trying to see if you really love us or not.

[PsychedelicRabbit]

Heh, yeah, I guess.

I'm seriously not trying to be mean to any of you, which is why I don't understand why I'm being hurt still. I don't want to hurt anyone, and never meant to make anyone feel threatened. I'm a peaceful, shy individual. That's all. I am very in love with Grace. That's it. I never thought it was anything bad, and I'm sorry I came off the wrong way. I never meant to. And I'm sorry for that.

I hope all of you can forgive me. I never meant to hurt anyone, and I'm so sorry if I made anyone feel threatened.

[graceslick]

Hey summerofluv, I do understand why you commented as you did. And yeah, I know that the reason why you aren’t pushing the matter is because you know there’s no point, but MY point is why did you even try in the first place to get your opinion across? I think you’d be able to tell from the earlier posts that it wouldn’t change Rabbit’s mind.

Slickly, yeah, your posts have been more understanding, and I also do get very much where you’re coming from in that Rabbit is a teenager and feels things very strongly and intensely. I see it was inaccurate of me to group your posts in with Summerofluv’s posts. However, again, you expecting Rabbit to have a wake up call moment was pretty unrealistic, and your own unrealistic expectations of that have caused Rabbit pain.

Hey Rabbit…you say not many people understand you. I know how that feels, but if you want to try and feel a bit better about yourself (and this really only comes with age perhaps in a way), you just have to sort of not really care so much. If people tend not to understand you, why exactly is that YOUR responsibility? It’s THEIR choice whether they want to understand you. It’s their responsibility. Not your’s. It doesn’t mean anything is particularly wrong or unlikeable or bad about you if others don’t understand you. You know what I mean? I’m frequently misunderstood but I kind of gave up letting it bother me a long time ago. There’s no point. Your only options are to get upset by it, try to change to fit in and be understood by others, or not care so much and just try to surround yourself with those who DO understand you, or at least those who like you even if they can’t fully understand you.

I never thought you were a stalker. I too have studied this sort of thing and you don’t fit the profile to me.

You know what? When I first read Summerofluv’s post, I actually thought it was Slickly as well, but now I don’t know. I mean, that for some reason unknown to me was an automatic instinctive assumption, but I doubt they’re the same person. The only one on here who I know comes on as different people is CD (no offence CD!)

Imagine if one of us was actually Grace. Lol. That’d be weird.

Rabbit, I’ve got that pic of Grace with the mustache as my computer desktop wallpaper now at home. It’s excellent.

And Rabbit, you don’t need to apologise to anyone here. You’ve not done anything to anyone, threatened anyone or anything hurtful or upsetting. There is no need to apologise. You don’t have to ever apologise for how you feel or who you are.

[PsychedelicRabbit]

Hey Rabbit…you say not many people understand you. I know how that feels, but if you want to try and feel a bit better about yourself (and this really only comes with age perhaps in a way), you just have to sort of not really care so much. If people tend not to understand you, why exactly is that YOUR responsibility? It’s THEIR choice whether they want to understand you. It’s their responsibility. Not your’s. It doesn’t mean anything is particularly wrong or unlikeable or bad about you if others don’t understand you. You know what I mean? I’m frequently misunderstood but I kind of gave up letting it bother me a long time ago. There’s no point. Your only options are to get upset by it, try to change to fit in and be understood by others, or not care so much and just try to surround yourself with those who DO understand you, or at least those who like you even if they can’t fully understand you.

And I do try to do that. I try not to surround myself with those who don't understand me. But it's very unavoidable on a public forum. I'm done trying to conform just to make people happy. I did that before, and I was miserable. I am my own person and I am very unique. But I don't want to hurt anybody. That is part of my nature. I hate hurting people, and I don't understand why anyone would want to hurt me in return. Because I have never set out to hurt anyone. I'm working on the letting go of caring. But that is taking its time, unfortunately.

I never thought you were a stalker. I too have studied this sort of thing and you don’t fit the profile to me.

I can't stalk anyone. I'm too shy and too sensitive to even think of doing that. I keep to myself and don't say much. I'm not out to hurt anyone. I don't get why someone would call me a stalker in the first place. But it hurt, anyway.

You know what? When I first read Summerofluv’s post, I actually thought it was Slickly as well, but now I don’t know. I mean, that for some reason unknown to me was an automatic instinctive assumption, but I doubt they’re the same person. The only one on here who I know comes on as different people is CD (no offence CD!)

Imagine if one of us was actually Grace. Lol. That’d be weird.

Rabbit, I’ve got that pic of Grace with the mustache as my computer desktop wallpaper now at home. It’s excellent.

And Rabbit, you don’t need to apologise to anyone here. You’ve not done anything to anyone, threatened anyone or anything hurtful or upsetting. There is no need to apologise. You don’t have to ever apologise for how you feel or who you are.

I don't know. They might be separate people, they might be the same one. I really don't know. Maybe it is Grace, testing me to see if I really love her, like Slickly said. I honestly don't know. The fact that someone would sign up here twice doesn't bother me. But to hurt me, that does bother me. It hurts me.

I love the picture of Grace with the mustache. I saw it and loved it immediately. She's so cute.

I know I didn't do anything, but I just wanted to say sorry, in case I offended someone. I never meant to. I never meant to come off as a crazy stalker who needs help. I'm not any of those things, and I'm sorry I came off that way.
I do love Grace, and I've never ever doubted that for a minute. I love her, and I am entirely dedicated to loving her. It's not my love for her that I am apoligizing for. It's just anything I might've said that hurt someone. I never meant to do it, if I did.

[graceslick]

Now, saying you’re too shy to stalk someone isn’t going to convince anyone you’re not a stalkerish type. The reasons I don’t think you are don’t relate to how quiet or shy you are. Most stalkers ARE very shy in fact. They become obsessed in the first place because of the fact they’re so shy and tend to not be able to reach out to people in their real lives very well, and are misunderstood, and so form these very strong and unreasonable attachments to fantasy figures and feel they know them and have a bond with them that is reciprocated and they feel close to this person and they want to know all about them, and anything they find out they equate to something in their own lives, and then after a while, when they feel this bond is NOT reciprocated, they get angry at whoever it is who’s somehow “betrayed” them, and then the stalking aspect turns bad and kinda scary.

And yeah, some aspects sound like your situation, but only on the surface I think, and aside from all that, you’re just not on that stalking level. You’re not in the mind set. End of story for me.

And just know that you didn’t hurt anyone on here. Nobody was hurt. You don’t need to be worried about hurting anyone with your actions, at all. You’re not a hurtful or malevolent person in any way. You didn’t offend anyone either. They just wanted to give their opinions on the situation cause they’re concerned.

[graceslick]

CD, I’m pretty sure she does have a gun still. But see, again I don’t know when all these interviews I’ve read were actually from. I heard she had the gun on her dining table or coffee table or something, and it looked funny amongst all the stuffed animals. But that could’ve been ages ago.

I wouldn’t be scared to be around Grace. I find it funny but also annoying that so many people talk about that incident as if she was crazy and still “wanders around her house, hearing voices and holding her gun”. I mean, come ON. She’s not crazy, she never was. All you’ve got to do is read her book and you’ll see she’s perfectly sane and fine. That whole thing about the gun and the police and that boyfriend (I’ve had a mental blank as to what his name is right now) who had the mental problem, I mean, he set the bed on FIRE with her IN it! And then a knock at the door came and she had her gun cause why wouldn’t she, with all the crap that’s happened over the years with weirdos intruding into her personal space, and then everyone calls HER crazy? Blegh.

[PsychedelicRabbit]

I don't think your post helped any, to be quite honest. In fact, I'm scared by it. I feel like I've done something terribly wrong, when I never meant to. I feel like a stalker, even though I'm not. I feel so...hurt. And...not liking myself much, to be honest.

Stalker: Stalking is the obsessive following, observing, or contacting of another person, or the obsessive attempt to engage in any of these activities. This includes following the person to certain places, to see where they live or what the person does on a daily basis, it also includes seeking and obtaining the person's personal information in order to contact him or her; e.g. looking for his or her details on computers, electoral rolls, personal files and other material containing the person's private information without his or her consent.

I've not done any of that.

I am very much in love, and I'd never set out to hurt Grace or make her feel uncomfortable. But all I feel now is that I have. I feel like a stalker. I feel miserable.

That post didn't help.
You aren't helping me. If anything, you are proving thier point, when in fact I've never stalked anyone in my life. I feel so...ahh.

[graceslick]

Hey CD, in Australia, you can have a gun but you have to have a proper license and stuff, and a while ago there was a big recall of guns, where people were supposed to give them back, but not everyone did.

Rabbit, are you referring to my post as not being helpful??? Cause the one you quoted wasn’t mine.

[graceslick]

That's a good point, CD - don't take life too seriously.

Now Rabbit, DID you mean my post wasn't helpful? Well, I'm sorry. I have been posting and posting, trying to show you I'm "on your side" so to speak, trying to be there for you, trying to understand...

When I wrote about the characteristics of a stalker and said some of them could be seen to be like you in this situation, I wasn't saying anything intended to make you feel bad. All I was saying was that by you saying you're shy and quiet and thus, not a stalker, that argument isn't really valid. That's all. I wasn't saying you ARE a stalker. I've already said MANY times you're not! I know you're not.

I was also trying to show that I do understand where those other 2 people are coming from in their opinions. If I was to completely discount everything anyone ever said that was not in agreement to how you feel, then they'd think I don't understand them and thus my own posts in defence of you and how you feel would not mean anything. I'm just trying to be balanced here in my attitudes.

Forget it though. I'm over it.