Try sending a jar filled with pee, a few black carnations, and some tabs of blotter paper.
For wrapping paper use a old style cloth diaper sprinkled with talcum powder. Secure with rolling paper.
Now before CD starts with the disrespect posts again, it is important to remember these words of wisdom... "The people we love the most are the ones who shit, piss and spit upon us".
God forbid a day go by where my daughter does not have her cloth diaper (aka security blanket) stowed away safely in her school bag.....