Am I an unpleasant / problem member?

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Am I an unpleasant / problem member?

Postby graceslick on Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:15 pm

Hey there

I have noticed something, and just wanted to ask you kind folks what you think…

I have been frequenting online discussion forums such as this for many years…also chat rooms, which I spent the better part of my university years in (as opposed to going to class, heheheh!)

Anyway, I have always found that most people on the forums I participate in either seem to like me quite a lot, or absolutely hate me and find me annoying or insufferable or difficult and argumentative.

I used to think it was just certain other people, but now I’m beginning to think maybe I have a problem. I have caused arguments on this forum and apparently been viewed as rude and also certain people thought I was someone else and it was all this stupid tangled web of confusion and annoyance. All seemingly from one supposedly half joking comment I made months ago in another thread.

On another forum I’ve been a member of for almost 2 years, I have many friends there but a certain group of people detest me and frequently fight with me. I think I tend to be rude on this forum too, even if I don’t mean to be.

On a new forum I just became a member of a week ago (about cats, seeing as I will be getting 2 cats in the near future), I already caused a heated discussion in a thread I started, simply by asking how people felt about letting their cats out if they lived in apartment buildings. I don’t really know why people react this way to me.

In the chat rooms I used to be in a lot in my late teens, I actually got banned twice from this particular room because I was rude and was using obscene language. Lol. Also I was banned 3 times from another discussion forum a few years ago.

Am I inflammatory? Part of me thinks it’s sort of fun to be a “strong personality” but lately I’ve been trying to sort of…dull myself down a bit to fit in, but it’s obviously not quite working.
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Re: Am I an unpleasant / problem member?

Postby graceslick on Wed Oct 15, 2008 11:49 pm

Lol. I guess maybe my personality is a bit weird or “big” at times, and comes across a little skewed online when people can’t hear or see me properly, and all they get is the words.

CD, not to be rude or offensive, but your lovely and supportive answer to my question, though appreciated, is not helping me, as you’re odd. Lol. Plain and simple. You know you’re a bit weird though, don’t you? That’s not necessarily a bad thing!
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Re: Am I an unpleasant / problem member?

Postby PsychedelicRabbit on Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:57 am

Awwww, don't feel that way! I like you! :) I like you a lot!

*cyberhug*
With you standing here I could tell the world what it means to love
To go on from here I can't use words, they don't say enough
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Re: Am I an unpleasant / problem member?

Postby Susan Butcher on Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:15 am

You're perfectly pleasant, even when you disagree with someone.
"I ain't got the blues no more I said"
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Re: Am I an unpleasant / problem member?

Postby graceslick on Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:55 pm

Wow, ok!

I used to agree with that, but then so many people on different forums seemed to react so strongly and negatively to me! I actually got told by 3 members of another forum the other day to “F**K OFF!” and then someone else said to leave the forum altogether. *sigh* It kinda sucks. I didn’t even mean to offend anyone. I think of a lot of people on forums in general as bland. (not you people! Lol) Sort of “brown paper bag” people. They just don’t incite any strong reactions from anyone and are quite benign. Me however, and some others, are “colourful” people. Lol.

Do you know what started this altercation? Someone in one thread said she’d been told by a naturopath that she was fat. She isn’t fat, she’s a size 12 (which in US sizes is an 8 I think) and I said in response, TRYING to be somewhat supportive and also making a bit of a joke out of it, “lol. Some people just have no idea how they come across”. And that’s all I said. Is that offensive to anyone here? Then I got a barrage of abuse saying I was laughing AT this person on the forum (which of course I wasn’t) and all that. For god’s sake, you know? Why is it my responsibility for their paranoia that I’d be laughing at that person? Whatever.

Anyway…I think if I TRIED to be offensive and insulting to them, they’d know about it. I can be very rude and argumentative and quite enjoy it at times. But when I’m NOT being rude and people react that way, it bugs me greatly.

Anyway, thank you!!
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Re: Am I an unpleasant / problem member?

Postby IneedaBonghit on Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:49 pm

If you have not been kicked off and banned the forum then the answer is....

no.

Simple answer to a simple question.

Jack
Getting reborn isn't easy. It's like hitting the reset switch of a computer, or getting hit by a wrecking ball. My life is rebooting...:)
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Re: Am I an unpleasant / problem member?

Postby graceslick on Sat Oct 18, 2008 3:03 am

Alrighty then. lol

I wonder why I've been kicked off so many forums and chat rooms in the past...I wonder why I get so aggressive sometimes. It's sort of like, in the past, I've been holding myself in, trying to be "bland" and fit in, and then as soon as someone tells me to f**k off or something along those lines, I explode and swear and am SO rude and insulting and horrible, and I almost enjoy this! Then I'm banned. Dammit.
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Re: Am I an unpleasant / problem member?

Postby PsychedelicRabbit on Sat Oct 18, 2008 3:13 am

I like you. I think you're a really nice person. But you are misunderstood. I know what that is like, i'm very misunderstood myself.

I just hope you don't have anything negative things to say about the people on this forum! :oops: :cry:
With you standing here I could tell the world what it means to love
To go on from here I can't use words, they don't say enough
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Re: Am I an unpleasant / problem member?

Postby graceslick on Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:30 am

No, no, nothing negative to say about people here. And definitely not you! lol

I think I just get annoyed when I try to "fit in" or sort of...adapt certain things to match with the majority of the other people on a forum, and then I STILL don't fit in properly and certain people misunderstand things I say, and then they get impatient or annoyed with me and then explode at me, and all this time I've been getting more and more annoyed with them too, so I explode right back...I remember one example when I was in a chat room I always used to go into when I was about 18 years old, and I really liked it there and most of the people, and had many friends there, and many of those friends were sort of "power" members. Like, you know how in these sorts of things there's just this sort of unspoken understanding that certain people are "top dogs"? And others are followers, and others are sort of the black sheep and not liked by most people? I was always not the top dogs, but with them, and so popular...but then somehow something happened...I'm not even sure what...one of them turned on me (actually, I know why, it was because of a STUPID discussion about how bi girls weren't welcome in there because they liked guys and were against gay girls. It was a chat room specifically for gay and bi girls. There was one guy in there who was annoying but generally accepted just cause he never caused any problems and had been coming there forever. He was a friend of mine too. But the top dog girls HATED the bi girls. I didn't. I was friends with whoever as long as they weren't stupid or whatever. So anyway, one of the top dog girls who WAS my friend was like, WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING THE BI SLUT?! And I'm like, excuse me? lol. And she said I must be bi in that case, and I was like, don't be so stupid. And she went off at me, so I retaliated and then the whole chat room was like this brawl!! And one of my ex-friends from there, I sort of lashed out at her as well. She had 2 kids but was always on the net ALWAYS, and so her parents actually looked after these kids. I never said anything about it but once she was rude to me, I was horrible to her and said she was a bad mother and couldn't even take care of her own kids. Oops. That I think is what got me banned. lol I went a bit far there.

ANYWAY...what was the original point of this post? Oh yeah, misunderstandings. Yeah. lol I am frequently misunderstood, both online and in my real life. I sort of think...like, sometimes I get a bit sad and feel sort of frustrated that most people don't "get" me and never will, but then mostly I feel well, it's because I can't be bothered making a huge effort to get them to understand me. Why should I have to? It's not my responsibility to have others like or understand me. That's their choice.
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