Hmm…no, I don’t think I’m jealous. I actually don’t have any illusions that I would ever be able to be with Grace, and as I am virtually married to my girlfriend, I don’t want to be with Grace. I want to be her friend and really close to her and hang out and stuff, and have us care a lot about each other and love each other in a deep friendship way, but that’s it. So no, I’m really not jealous.
I just pointed out the unrequited love thing because right now for you, it’s true. That is the state of your love, and why it’s so overwhelming for you. Until you can express it to the person it’s directed at, you will continue to feel like this. I didn’t mean it in any way to hurt you! I hope that it won’t be unrequited for long!!
How do you know people who know her and speak to her?? You’re in Florida, you said, right? God, I wish I knew people who knew her!! What have they said about her? Not too much I’d assume, unless they think she’s ok with talking about her when she’s not there.
To me, a part (not all) of your love for Grace is like you’re joined, and when she’s not there, by your side, it’s like there’s an aching hole in your soul. It’s like the right way the world should be is for you to be together, and because you’re not, it feels wrong for you. Does that make sense?
That’s the negative side I guess. The positive side is that your love is all encompassing and unconditional. You love her for her spirit and soul. You can feel her energy because you have a depth of love that allows you to feel it even though she’s not physically there with you.
I can see why a lot of people might think it’s an “impossible dream” that you and Grace could be together, but I sort of…it’s not impossible. I mean, you’re in America, you know people…I’m over here in Australia but if I ever came to America and were to go to her art shows, I wouldn’t feel it impossible that we could meet and she could find something in me that she liked and could connect with…I think we’d be on the same wavelength in many ways if the timing and mood (each of our moods) was right. So…why is it impossible for you? I know it’s not. And once you meet, who knows what could happen…
Here’s what I think, in practical terms. You have to get some sort of definite signal in the physical sense. Like a letter from her or an email, or word from the people who know her…and / or you have to meet her in person. Be in the same area as her for enough time for something to happen. This could mean simply meeting her and clicking to the extent that you don’t need to spend a lot of time with her. You could continue your relationship (the initial stages of friendship leading to some sort of “courtship”) from a distance. Or else you’d need to spend time physically with her for that to happen and for your relationship to progress. Either way though, eventually if anything was to go beyond the first stages, you’d need to be where she is. Moving to LA or whatever. Or Grace moving to FLA (though I’m not sure about the likelihood of that happening). It may take quite a long time to progress to the stage you long for though…but that’s ok. All of it would be amazing, wouldn’t it?