Nigerian Spam (Check THIS out!!!)

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Nigerian Spam (Check THIS out!!!)

Postby DonRico1967 on Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:03 pm

So today I received THIS E-mail from


I want to firstly apologize for contacting you without knowing you but what I propose needs little or no intimacy, just sincere cooperation and all will be concluded with easy.

I am Barrister John Wakka. My client ( Mr. Peter Haigh) died in the 27TH January 2002 bomb blast in Lagos,see a report of the incident : ... /home.html but unknown to me he left USD2.7M in a commercial bank in Lagos, I have just been informed of the development by the bank and was asked to provide the next of kin for the funds. It’s too late to get to his documents as they were all destroyed in the incident and I have not been able to locate his family. It’s imperative that I provide someone as the beneficiary of the funds else the bank will keep the funds to themselves.

I therefore want to present you as his next of kin so the bank can pay the funds to you. I have the necessary official and legal documents that will be used to back up the claim. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable me as the legal attorney to the deceased in seeing that you receive the inheritance fund. Be informed that it does not matter whether my late client is related to you or not. I guarantee you that this will be executed legitimately to protect us from any breach of the law.

Upon the payment of the funds to you, you and I will then split the funds in equal parts so as to avoid problems within us and thereafter the partnership can be dissolved. Please reply me soonest so you’ll know the details I need from you to facilitate the payment. If you have any questions or doubts then let me know. I will only contact another person if I don’t hear from you in due time.If you feel you can work on this with me then please write me at:

Thank you,

Barr. John Wakka.

Did you read that? Have you HEARD of these scams?

So of course, I replied IMMEDIATELY:

FROM: DONRICO****@****.com

Re: YES!!!

Dear John:

I read your un-solicited "spam" e-mail, and all I can say is "Well HELL YEAH!!!"

I am totally down!!! I want a slice of that pie!!!

Please allow me to introduce myself: My name is Mark.
I am from the Great State Of TEXAS-- {TEXAS-- Home of President George W. Bush} -- I am an EXCEEDINGLY wealthy man of great financial status ($), some have called me "disgustingly rich", but I am ALWAYS searching for greedy opportunities like YOURS to make even MORE $$$ $USD!!!

I want EVEN MORE money!!!

... Forgive my blunt honesty, but I really do not care WHO died or HOW many people were maimed and left homeless... These things are not important when one is dealing with cash $ money as your proposition indicates...
Hell, I did not even read your e-mail all the way to the end!!!

I just know that I WANT IN!!!

I myself am a typical white male fat American pig who only lusts for cash and the finer things in life... Probably, much like yourself in those respects, I am certain!!!

I am a proud supporter of the great Bush-Cheney regime and want to see the American government's corporate tentacles spread tight all throughout the entire world!!!

U.$.A.! U.$.A.! U.$.A.!!! Whoo-Hoooo!!!

You just tell me WHEN and WHERE to send my $$$, as much as you need, and I will have it to you over-night (or sooner), tout suite!!!
Do you need my Social Security Number too? Just ask for it and I will e-mail that in my next message...

I want a piece of your pie! Your client's lucrative pile of CA$H!!!

So write me back SOON and tell me just where you want my money to be sent and how much you need... I can even send EXTRA $$$ to you, just for being such a nice and thoughtful person!!! A good deed of greed should be REWARDED, I always say!!!

By the way, I am just curious-- HOW on EARTH did you seek and find MY e-mail address?
I consider myself to be among the upper-tier, wealthy and privileged elite, and so it is slightly troubling to me that just any commoner from somewhere in Africa (of all places), whom I do not know and have never before met, could easily just obtain my private information and e-mail me "out of the blue" so to speak!?!?!?!

Any ways... No worries. I do not really care, I am just glad that you did!!!

Together you and I can become RICH (or I should say, you can become rich and I can become yet even MORE richer!!!)...
But what about the "taxes"??? How can you and I avoid paying the bloody "TAXES"!?!?!?!

Aw hell... That does not even concern me really... Why, I have enough money to pay for ALL of BOTH of our taxes!!! MANY times over!!!

So yeah...

I cannot WAIT for this GOLDEN opportunity!!!

Write me back quickly or else I might change my fickle American mind...

I have numerous other pending investments (including, coincidentally, quite a few in Nigeria) and even three in Sierra Leone investing in "black-market" (whatever THAT means?) diamonds and other precious commodities... None have paid off for me YET, but I am quite faithful that VERY soon, I will be EVEN richer and MORE wealthy!!!

And so I REALLY do not need YOUR client's MONEY--
I just want to get my hands on some MORE--
And I do not even care what unscrupulous methods I must do to get it!!!

You, sir, have a VERY WILLING AMERICAN SUBJECT here!!!

Awaiting your prompt reply,

Your colleague,

-- J.R. "Mark" Rico III

Whadday'all think huh???
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Postby pandalove on Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:45 pm

Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
-Abbie Hoffman
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Postby DonRico1967 on Thu Sep 13, 2007 9:58 pm

I'm going to bait-&-switch and go all DATELINE-MSNBC on they ass, Chris Hansen-style!!!

I'll notify The secret srvice and FBI and CIA (wait a minute-- Those American pig-fucks won't do ANYTHING)-- Maybe I will notify Scotland yard II on they blood-sucking Nigerian azzzz...

I say:

SPAM the Spammers!!!
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Postby DonRico1967 on Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:28 pm

Well they NEED to hear it!!!

Some of us Yanks and (Aussies) and (Europeans) do not enjoy being called "Mark"!!!

And Charles Maxter Webster shit-fucker or whatever his name REALLY is might have better luck trying to SPAM some of those Nigerian Spammers and leave US here the FUCK alone!!!

Maybe he will meet his SPAM-match!!!

Piece of shits!!!

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Postby MicksPulloutCouch on Sat Sep 15, 2007 11:57 pm

Wait.. WHAT?
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Postby Shadow_of_A_Doubt- on Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:31 am

Don its almost as kewl as winning the Lottery in South Africa. I didnt reply to this one. Just went to the discard pile.

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 03:52:50 -0700
"ANC LOTTERY SOUTH AFRICA" <> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert

Subject : Winner

This is to inform you that your email address has won the ANC lottery
South Africa annual online lottery draws. You have therefore been
approved to claim a total sum of $1.5Million. You winning reference number
is: ANC-Pf23-711w-9. To claim your prize, please contact our claim agent:
Mr. Thabo Selebi Email: fax: +27 866009755. Send
him your reference number, your full names, your contact address, your
telephone numbers, Congratulations,

Ms. Susan Smith
Director Prize Award.
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Postby DonRico1967 on Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:26 pm

I never knew that one could win a state-sponsored lottery for which one had not only not purchased a ticket, nor was NOT EVEN a citizen of that state / nation...

I guess these poor dumb-fucks must actually get a lot of takers for them to keep bombarding us with such patently-transparent spam-crap...

These African spammers and charles bear are two peas in the same fucked-up pod.
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